Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
