I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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