Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
high people should be assigned attendants
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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