You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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