booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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