Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
