Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude i'm inner monologue high
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
