I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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