Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
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