gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
what the fuck happened to the tacos
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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