It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
