Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize