Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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