Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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