This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
