If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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