you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
