I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
