Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Every concussion has its silver lining
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
