She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
