It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
