Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
