well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
