but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
