Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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