he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize