i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
