She is in my trunk
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
