i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
