just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
