very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
