I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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