Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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