Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
