That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
