what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
