my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
