i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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