The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
