he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
