i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
