I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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