if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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