Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
