We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
