I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
