Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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