I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
