This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
