I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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