Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry ShakeAleg hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(703): View more from Virginia

there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it

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(516): View more from New York

I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.

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(757): View more from Virginia

So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?

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