my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
