can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize