Can i not drive my cunt home
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
