so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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