Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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