I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My dick has a subreddit
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize