i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
