Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
COCAINE IS GR8
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
