I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
