you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you didnt know i had herpes?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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