Define "chronic" masturbator.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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