She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
