Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
