...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
