garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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