this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There's even glitter on my cock...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
