Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
