I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
